A Qur’anic Advice 1 – Our Friendships

I would like to start of this post with a few verses from Surat-ul Furqan

الْمُلْكُ يَوْمَئِذٍ الْحَقُّ لِلرَّحْمَٰنِ ۚ وَكَانَ يَوْمًا عَلَى الْكَافِرِينَ عَسِيرًا

The sovereignty on that Day will be the true (sovereignty), belonging to the Most Beneficent (Allah), and it will be a hard Day for the disbelievers (those who disbelieve in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism). (26)

وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا

And (remember) the Day when the Zalim (wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist, etc.) will bite at his hands, he will say: “Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger ( Muhammad SAW). (27)

يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا

“Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! (28)

لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي ۗ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنسَانِ خَذُولًا

“He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (this Quran) after it had come to me. And Shaitan (Satan) is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need.” (29)

وَقَالَ الرَّسُولُ يَا رَبِّ إِنَّ قَوْمِي اتَّخَذُوا هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ مَهْجُورًا

And the Messenger (Muhammad SAW) will say: “O my Lord! Verily, my people deserted this Quran (neither listened to it, nor acted on its laws and orders). (30)

Verses 26 – 30

I would like to ask any reader who reads this to first clear up your intention. If you didn’t come here to read this and benefit, then do not read any further until you purify that intention. If you will spend a second over analyzing the author of this post rather than the message being expressed you will not benefit from this any true benefit unless Allah wills of course and you will be missing the whole point of reminding each and every single one of us about these words that might apply to each and every single one of us, including myself. Also never read this with someone else in mind, remember very well that the reminder applies to the individual (us) first and foremost, and that you should constantly be thinking about how this will benefit you as a person. Both points are true especially since the verses we will explore are the words of Allah, our Creator and Sustainer, and this would mean an insult and disrespect to His words if read in the wrong way, or with the wrong intention. I ask Allah to forgive my shortcomings as well as all of ours, and that He purifies our intentions, and makes us benefit from the following verses. Finally, the following contains what could be perceived harsh advice, should you choose to read it and allow your ego to get in the way (i.e get offended, “Who does he think he is”, “I don’t agree with that”, etc…) then you will not benefit a single bit and these very powerful words that could have otherwise shaped your life, will have no effect, of course unless Allah wills otherwise. This will be a short series insha’ Allah, that I hope people can benefit from and follow, and may Allah allow me to convey His message clearly and may He accept it.

Let us now begin with the first verse. In the 26th verse, Allah begins by describing the Day of Judgement, and the state of the disbeliever on that Day. He starts this verse by saying ”The sovereignty on that Day will be the true (sovereignty) of the Most Gracious,” this is alluding to an action Allah will take on the Day of Judgement, when Allah will fold up the heavens, and will take the earths, then He will say ”I am the Sovereign, I am the Judge. Where are the kings of the earth? Where are the tyrants Where are the arrogant?’. This verse serves as a warning to those who used to be leaders in this world and who misused their leadership, whether they were Muslims or Non-Muslims. Unfortunately, it is very relevant with our day and age with all the corruption happening all over the world. We have Muslim leaders who believe themselves to be above Allah’s might as they rule in injustice. This is an emphasis on the importance of true justice and how no matter how much power you have, it will not be anywhere near Allah’s as He clearly mentions the ease of folding up the heavens and taking the earths.

In the next verse, Allah decides to change the target audience from rulers to a different one. He follows it up saying ”and it will be a hard Day for the disbelievers.” Whenever this verse is mentioned, I always find some kind of hope. The reason for that is that Allah is clearly saying that the Day of Judgement isn’t supposed to be hard for those who believe. It is a verse of mercy, reminding us that if we claim to believe, as we say we do, then it shouldn’t be a problem, or a worry. How truly sad is it then, that most of us decide to ignore this mercy and disobey Allah in the most basic of matters. We can’t pray our prayers properly, we can’t treat each other with kindness, we are stuck committing hundreds of sins daily, and yet we go to sleep comfortably, without an action of repentance. Is it not contradictory to claim one thing and not act upon what we claim daily? Oh we who claim to believe, should we not turn back to Allah and hasten in repentance? May Allah have mercy on us and make us amongst those repent, and may He keep us away from this hypocrisy.

Allah then continues the verses with this next one saying: And (remember) the Day when the wrongdoer will bite at his hands, he will say: “O! If only I had taken a path with the Messenger.” Here Allah does something very interesting; He switches the subject of discussion. The one being talked about is no longer the disbeliever but the wrongdoer. What’s truly special about this is how it is as if Allah is saying that the exception to the rule of believers who will also have a hard time that day are those who would disobey Allah the All Mighty consistently. Those who when it came to certain rules being implemented in their lives, they turned away from them, and neglected them. Even more specifically, those who didn’t take a path with the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him (didn’t follow his ways). Allah emphasizes the regret felt by the wrongdoer who rejected the path of the Messenger, saying that when this wrongdoer was shown the path of the Prophet, he decided to follow another path instead. On this day of Truth, he will feel regret but his regret will avail him nothing, and he will bite on his hands in sorrow and grief.

Many lessons can be derived from the above verses. The first is the imagery of how stressful of a situation this person will be in. When you are in school and you take an exam you didn’t study for, you might remember very clearly kicking into a bad habit of chewing on your finger nails. In this case Allah says that this person will be under so much stress that this person will be biting on their hands. Now take a second and bite on your hand. The immense pain or sheer awkwardness of doing so would probably make you quit it immediately, but on that day this same person is not only biting on his or her hand hard, but biting on both of his or her hands. The second lesson resides in the use of the word “sabil” which means path. A path is known as something you walk on, and it’s very beautiful because it emphasizes action. What path would be a path if it was never used to walk? That description emphasizes that following the prophet is more of a lifestyle than a belief. Saying that you believe is insufficient, and a claim is but a mere claim if it is not followed with application.

All this to say that some people who believed in the Prophet (peace be upon him) will also be a part of the group, because even when they knew this path, they didn’t walk it, they never followed it. Allah is pushing us and reminding us of the importance of taking the sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) as a companion, that you follow the Prophet’s ethics, his behavior, his actions, his thoughts, etc… When we think of the sunnah, often we think of specific actions and we omit others that are just as important and if anything more important than the ones we emphasize on. We think of actions like praying in jamaah (congregation) in the mosques, 2 rakaat here and 2 rakaat there, but the reality is that the following the Prophet’s path carries a deeper meaning. For example the Prophet would pray throughout the night asking forgiveness from his Lord more than 70 times, then how do we claim to follow his path if we go by days and days and never repent a single time. Another thing the Prophet never did is involve himself in acts of crude shamelessness, as he would not mix with the opposite gender uselessly, and he never touched a non-mahram woman, and yet we find brothers and sisters liberating themselves and going all out when it comes to these important matters. What’s truly important to realize is that when it comes to taking a path with the Prophet (PBUH) it isn’t just  following what is halal, and staying away from the haraam, but it’s trying your best to live your life just like the Prophet (PBUH). You might even disagree with some of the sunnah, in which case you are asked if your opinion even matters in the say. It’s very clear, it comes down to a personal choice in the end, one choice which leads to temporary happiness in this world, and excruciating stress and regret on the Day of Judgement, and one that gives you happiness in fulfilling your purpose of living, by abstaining from that delusional happiness, and in return you are amongst the successful on that Day.

Isn’t it crazy then that as Muslims, we find ourselves littering constantly, backbiting, frowning, spreading rumors, adopting an unforgiving attitude, etc…  Some of us have serious anger issues, beating our children and cussing to our parents, mistreating our friends and fellow brothers and sisters, cursing this one and that one, hating this person and that person, actions conducted by some of us Muslims who claim to follow the Messenger (PBUH). What’s truly unfortunate is that we hear these same people making du’a and motivating their surroundings, trying to spread the deen to the world, when in reality, if one cannot achieve the small steps, how does one then expect to reach the 100^th floor? We don’t even accept responsibility with regards to the small matters and we claim we are able to handle the responsibility of big tasks?

The next verse starts to become even more serious and more powerful. The person starts to complain to himself as he starts to mention why he wasn’t able to follow this path. It’s important to note that it is a source of mercy from Allah SWT that He tells us exactly why we don’t succeed. Sometimes we spend days and days, hours upon hours trying to figure out why we are in the state we are in and we forget to even look at the simple answer. Whether it is because some of us are too scared to admit the problem because our egos come in the way as we imitate Shaytan and try to escape from having to face the problem, or whether it is because we are oblivious, it doesn’t change the fact that it always comes to a personal choice. Funny enough, this choice is what drives our will of undertaking responsibilities. So this very same person, which could be me, or could be you, or anyone else, will be standing in grief, his hands in his mouth saying, “Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! (28)

This verse is particularly interesting because of the specific wording being used. See Allah doesn’t use Ya laytani  (woe to me), in fact the words used to represent this complaint is Ya waylata. At first glance one would say that it means the same thing, however there is a clear difference between the two expressions. The difference is very subtle but yet it paints a picture that is so specific and sorrowful. the “ta” part of the “waylata” actually adds a very deep sadness in the narrative, so not only is the person complaining about himself or herself but on top of that, they are truly sad, in absolute anguish, in deep depression. One might ask well why is this person so depressed? The cause of this depression is mentioned, and this is where things can become very harsh. If you choose to read beyond this you need to really purify your intentions, so let us all do so now before proceeding. Allah, our Creator, the All-Knower, the One who holds all cures, says that the reason for this anguish is none other than the people you used to call your friends. These very same friends that pushed you to do things that the Prophet and Allah would have never approved of. They made you say words that they would never approved of. They made you behave in shameless ways and made you behave in a way that once again they would never approve of. It’s important to note that is is not necessarily the nature of your friends like we tend to believe (people are not evil generally) but the problem is more in who you become around these people. Who are you when you hang out with this person and how different are you when you hang out with the other. This is not to be confused with hypocrisy and two faced personalities, but rather it is more of an analysis that deals with certain ingredients not mixing properly with one another.

If you take the example of water, the sun, and dust, you would see that each ingredient individually is not harmful, in fact each is needed for something in one way or the other. However, if you take earth, and wet it, and then you let it dry in the sun, you get a brick. Now this brick carries some harm and it could be used as a deadly weapon. This is exactly why the Prophet (PBUH) warned us all very sternly saying that every believer should look and pick his close friends wisely. Some other very famous sayings talk about how you are on the religion of your close friend. Even though you might pray and stay away from the things your friends might do (like drink,  smoke, mix with the other gender, etc…), the fact that you choose these friends says a lot about how careless of a person you may be. You don’t take Allah’s warning seriously, and you don’t take the Prophet’s warning seriously, which can be added as an argument and proof as to how you didn’t follow the path of the Messenger. Also it has been proven from a psychological perspective that when you spend enough time with people, the closeness of two people allows for one to develop habits of the other over time. Either ways, the fact that you don’t hang out with people who remind you of Allah is the true problem as we will see in the next verse.

That day we will regret taking so and so as our friend, and on that day we will love the opportunity to blame them for where we ended up, but we won’t be able to because it’s our fault. Friendship is a choice, we choose who we hang out with, and we choose to stick to certain people over others, and that’s the very simple and blunt truth. What’s truly shocking in this verse is what comes up right after in this same verse. The verse highlights the extent of which this close friend is useless on that day putting in context that this close friend could be one whose Facebook posts you followed religiously, you could have followed all their tweets, you could have texted them day and night, spent hours on the phone with them, you could have spent hours memorizing their favorite colors, flowers, cereal, sports, movie, song, etc… but on that day (brace yourself…) you can’t even remember their name! Imagine right now a close friend of yours and try forgetting their name! How truly powerful is this verse! Subhanallah, you will be referring to this friend using the word “fulan”, because of how useless they really were. In the Arabic language the word fulan is synonymous with so and so, or, this random person, that guy/girl, etc… So really, each and everyone of us need to take a break and really assess who these close friends are, and what kind of path they are leading your life towards. We need to make a choice as to how and with who we will spend your time with.  Wallahi we can surely think of people at some point in our lives, who used to be at the first rows in the masajid, and they used to be leaders of this community and then they disappeared once they started hanging out with the wrong crowd. We know ourselves and how we used to be or still are being limited from our potential just because we waste this very precious time with the wrong people, and because of the people we have taken as our close friend.

Sometimes when we hang out with the wrong crowd, we tend to use the expression “let’s not judge”. However the word Naseeha (sincere advice) also means purity of the heart. So it goes to show that if we don’t advise others when we see them in the wrong because of the fact that we don’t want to be “judgmental” and are too scared to take advice from people because they are too “judgmental”, then we have a problem within our hearts. Know that if we are not influencing the people around us, then undoubtedly we are being influenced. Also know that if you aren’t bothered with your friend being in the wrong, and you don’t do anything about it, then you truly aren’t a sincere friend. Sometimes we might even be in a group of friends, fooling ourselves to believe that we will influence them and guide them. Know that we are told by Allah to save ourselves first before others. Deep down, what is meant by that is that, if we have friends that are dragging us down, then it’s time to cut off these ties, they can still be acquaintances, but it would be very wise not to take them as close friends. Don’t even bother looking at yourself as a bad friend, because even in that there might be a trap of Shaytan, really just look at your friends and ask yourself the question as to whether they truly are good for you basing this goodness not on your fluffy feelings, but more on where they will leave you standing on the Day of Judgement. If they are people who don’t push you to read the Qur’an every day, pray every single one of your prayers and more, attend circles of knowledge, protect your shame, each one of these things being rudimentary, then something is wrong. This is very serious advice, not from me as an author but I am merely a human conveying our Creator’s advice, so take heed from it.

To continue, the next verse explains primarily why this friend was problematic. Allah says that the excuse the person uses for explaining why this friend shouldn’t have been chosen is that “he turned me away from the dhikr (remembrance of Allah, the Qur’an)”. This is exactly why this friend got you there in the first place. Analyze these events and see if the dynamic of your friendships fall into any of the following. “The Qur’an was being recited at a halaqa that I could have attended, but my friend pushed me towards the movies instead, or the fact that I hang out with this person and knowing that they wouldn’t like halaqat, or that I didn’t, I decided to suggest movies instead. This community event was going to be special, and I could renew my faith, and or this Islamic intensive class is coming to Montreal, I could attend it and learn a vast amount of knowledge, but you know what, forget all this, let’s go out and shop instead, or chill at the shisha bar, or worse, my friends told me these guys were extremists” and the list of excuses and influence goes on and on.

Sometimes maybe that person does push you towards these great things, but another problem, and an even deeper one, is the person who would help you recite it and learn it but when it came to applying it, it was never something that they helped you with. Because what they turned us away from was dhikr as stated in the Qur’an and the dhikr is not knowledge, it’s not words, but really remembrance. In remembrance as a word,there is highlight of an action; remembering requires effort from the mind, a conscious decision to make the action of remembering. This also means that if you are not remembering anything when it is being recited then what good will it do for you. If you can’t comprehend it what good will it do. What’s really beautiful to highlight as well is the wording “idh ja’ ani”, “and it came to me”.  This dhikr, remembrance was coming to you daily, but they turned you away from these things. Everyday is a remembrance to return to Allah, to repent, but if you find yourself not making tawbah because of the distractions these friends supply, then how truly sad is this state. How truly merciful is Allah that when it comes to this knowledge, Allah sends it your way in many forms and many times in a day through the subtlest of formats sometimes. Nowadays this verse is especially relevant seeing that access to this remembrance, to this knowledge of the Qur’an is available everywhere; you have libraries with hundreds of free books to take out, phone apps in the thousands, thousands of YouTube videos, each giving you access to Allah’s message.

“And verily shaytan was a khadoula”. In this verse, there are many lessons to extract. The word khadoula represents a deciever, but not just any type of deceiver, a friend or a companion that promised you a whole lot of goodness, yet this goodness never comes. We can pretty much think of a friend, who is always there to have fun, there to show you a good time, promised us that our state is good and there is nothing wrong with us, and then when we really need this friend he’s gone, nowhere to be found. One of the ways Shaytan manifests himself in this way is through our friends. With every little activity that is a true waste of time in the end, he promises you to be there all the time, that you are both going to enjoy it, but then just as things start to become serious (you realize you have no time left, or the haraam you thought was cool starts to develop into a type you weren’t expecting at all, like the boyfriend/girlfriend example that ends in pregnancy), he leaves you. Analyze your friends seriously, and ask yourself if they will be there for you on the Day of judgement that is as long as 50 000 years. Sure they could have been there for you for 70 years, 50 years or less, but remember that this is the same day where a mothers would ransom their children for their safety, where a child would ransom his parents and so on.

If all of that wasn’t enough now the Prophet (PBUH) is complaining. Allah says in the last verse we will be covering for this article, “They deserted this Qur’an.” Allah uses the word hathal Qur’an, when referring to the Qur’an instead of using dhalika which both mean this Qur’an. However for anyone who has a basic understanding of Arabic, they will immediately appreciate the difference within these two words. “Hatha” refers to something that is “qareeb”, something close, while as dhalika is not something that is close generally. Allah is once again putting emphasis on how close the Qur’an was and how one was constantly turned away from the Holy words of Allah. You carried it in your house only to accumulate dust, you had it on your PC, but only the few songs you liked made it on your MP3, you heard it in the mosques and in your house, but never followed it. The other sad point to note, is the Prophet (PBUH) our teacher, is now upset.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen someone who has done so much for you becoming upset. Imagine your mother, your father or your teacher expressing his sadness because of the way you behave, if you have a heart then it would break yours. Now this Prophet has done more than any person has ever done for you, he would make dua’ for you daily, he would speak with his closest companions about how he longed to meet you, how he would be the only Prophet on the Day of Judgement who will say, “Oh Allah but they were a part of my ummah!”* when you are being told you will be punished. Now this very same person is saying that we left the Qur’an “Mahjurah”, once again using this specific word “mahjurah” instead of “matruka”. The difference between “matruka” and “mahjurah” is that matruka just means to leave behind, while as mahjurah almost like hijrah is to leave far behind, almost as if you made something forgotten. Almost as if this Qur’an simply didn’t even exist to you, or was just a name in the back of your mind. Once again, even if you are a person who recites it and never acts upon it, then it’s still migration, and even worse you would carry with you the quality of Bani Israel.  How truly unfortunate that we have forsaken this book, and primarily our state is a reflection of our connection to this Qur’an.

We tend to concentrate on everyone’s rights in this worldly life, and we have forgotten to give the Qur’an its rights. Ifyou haven’t opened it in a month, if you don’t even open it every day,  even if it’s for 2 lines, or 1 ayah, then you’re not giving it its rights. This is exactly why you take on these friends who will do you no good on the Day of Judgement, this is why you never followed the Prophet’s path, and why you could be left biting on your two hands. Everything is interconnected, analyze your friends, because they could be the ones who don’t push you to connect with the Qur’an and due to this lack of connection, you will be okay with having these people as your close friends. May Allah guide us and make us amongst the ones who follow the best of speeches. May Allah make us righteous friends and bless us with righteous close friends. May He protect us from straying away from the path of the Prophet  (PBUH), and may He reward us with jannatul firdaws. If any good came from this article then it came solely from Allah SWT alone, and if any mistakes or errors were made, then they were caused by my own weaknesses and shortcomings, as well as the shaytan’s whisperings, and I ask any reader to forgive me sincerely.

A Qur’anic Advice 1 – Our Friendships

I would like to start of this post with a few verses from Surat-ul Furqan

الْمُلْكُ يَوْمَئِذٍ الْحَقُّ لِلرَّحْمَٰنِ ۚ وَكَانَ يَوْمًا عَلَى الْكَافِرِينَ عَسِيرًا

The sovereignty on that Day will be the true (sovereignty), belonging to the Most Beneficent (Allah), and it will be a hard Day for the disbelievers (those who disbelieve in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism). (26)

وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا

And (remember) the Day when the Zalim (wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist, etc.) will bite at his hands, he will say: “Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger ( Muhammad SAW). (27)

يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا

“Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! (28)

لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي ۗ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنسَانِ خَذُولًا

“He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (this Quran) after it had come to me. And Shaitan (Satan) is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need.” (29)

وَقَالَ الرَّسُولُ يَا رَبِّ إِنَّ قَوْمِي اتَّخَذُوا هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ مَهْجُورًا

And the Messenger (Muhammad SAW) will say: “O my Lord! Verily, my people deserted this Quran (neither listened to it, nor acted on its laws and orders). (30)

Verses 26 – 30

I would like to ask any reader who reads this to first clear up your intention. If you didn’t come here to read this and benefit, then do not read any further until you purify that intention. If you will spend a second over analyzing the author of this post rather than the message being expressed you will not benefit from this any true benefit unless Allah wills of course and you will be missing the whole point of reminding each and every single one of us about these words that might apply to each and every single one of us, including myself. Also never read this with someone else in mind, remember very well that the reminder applies to the individual (us) first and foremost, and that you should constantly be thinking about how this will benefit you as a person. Both points are true especially since the verses we will explore are the words of Allah, our Creator and Sustainer, and this would mean an insult and disrespect to His words if read in the wrong way, or with the wrong intention. I ask Allah to forgive my shortcomings as well as all of ours, and that He purifies our intentions, and makes us benefit from the following verses. Finally, the following contains what could be perceived harsh advice, should you choose to read it and allow your ego to get in the way (i.e get offended, “Who does he think he is”, “I don’t agree with that”, etc…) then you will not benefit a single bit and these very powerful words that could have otherwise shaped your life, will have no effect, of course unless Allah wills otherwise. This will be a short series insha’ Allah, that I hope people can benefit from and follow, and may Allah allow me to convey His message clearly and may He accept it.

Let us now begin with the first verse. In the 26th verse, Allah begins by describing the Day of Judgement, and the state of the disbeliever on that Day. He starts this verse by saying ”The sovereignty on that Day will be the true (sovereignty) of the Most Gracious,” this is alluding to an action Allah will take on the Day of Judgement, when Allah will fold up the heavens, and will take the earths, then He will say ”I am the Sovereign, I am the Judge. Where are the kings of the earth? Where are the tyrants Where are the arrogant?’. This verse serves as a warning to those who used to be leaders in this world and who misused their leadership, whether they were Muslims or Non-Muslims. Unfortunately, it is very relevant with our day and age with all the corruption happening all over the world. We have Muslim leaders who believe themselves to be above Allah’s might as they rule in injustice. This is an emphasis on the importance of true justice and how no matter how much power you have, it will not be anywhere near Allah’s as He clearly mentions the ease of folding up the heavens and taking the earths.

In the next verse, Allah decides to change the target audience from rulers to a different one. He follows it up saying ”and it will be a hard Day for the disbelievers.” Whenever this verse is mentioned, I always find some kind of hope. The reason for that is that Allah is clearly saying that the Day of Judgement isn’t supposed to be hard for those who believe. It is a verse of mercy, reminding us that if we claim to believe, as we say we do, then it shouldn’t be a problem, or a worry. How truly sad is it then, that most of us decide to ignore this mercy and disobey Allah in the most basic of matters. We can’t pray our prayers properly, we can’t treat each other with kindness, we are stuck committing hundreds of sins daily, and yet we go to sleep comfortably, without an action of repentance. Is it not contradictory to claim one thing and not act upon what we claim daily? Oh we who claim to believe, should we not turn back to Allah and hasten in repentance? May Allah have mercy on us and make us amongst those repent, and may He keep us away from this hypocrisy.

Allah then continues the verses with this next one saying: And (remember) the Day when the wrongdoer will bite at his hands, he will say: “O! If only I had taken a path with the Messenger.” Here Allah does something very interesting; He switches the subject of discussion. The one being talked about is no longer the disbeliever but the wrongdoer. What’s truly special about this is how it is as if Allah is saying that the exception to the rule of believers who will also have a hard time that day are those who would disobey Allah the All Mighty consistently. Those who when it came to certain rules being implemented in their lives, they turned away from them, and neglected them. Even more specifically, those who didn’t take a path with the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him (didn’t follow his ways). Allah emphasizes the regret felt by the wrongdoer who rejected the path of the Messenger, saying that when this wrongdoer was shown the path of the Prophet, he decided to follow another path instead. On this day of Truth, he will feel regret but his regret will avail him nothing, and he will bite on his hands in sorrow and grief.

Many lessons can be derived from the above verses. The first is the imagery of how stressful of a situation this person will be in. When you are in school and you take an exam you didn’t study for, you might remember very clearly kicking into a bad habit of chewing on your finger nails. In this case Allah says that this person will be under so much stress that this person will be biting on their hands. Now take a second and bite on your hand. The immense pain or sheer awkwardness of doing so would probably make you quit it immediately, but on that day this same person is not only biting on his or her hand hard, but biting on both of his or her hands. The second lesson resides in the use of the word “sabil” which means path. A path is known as something you walk on, and it’s very beautiful because it emphasizes action. What path would be a path if it was never used to walk? That description emphasizes that following the prophet is more of a lifestyle than a belief. Saying that you believe is insufficient, and a claim is but a mere claim if it is not followed with application.

All this to say that some people who believed in the Prophet (peace be upon him) will also be a part of the group, because even when they knew this path, they didn’t walk it, they never followed it. Allah is pushing us and reminding us of the importance of taking the sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) as a companion, that you follow the Prophet’s ethics, his behavior, his actions, his thoughts, etc… When we think of the sunnah, often we think of specific actions and we omit others that are just as important and if anything more important than the ones we emphasize on. We think of actions like praying in jamaah (congregation) in the mosques, 2 rakaat here and 2 rakaat there, but the reality is that the following the Prophet’s path carries a deeper meaning. For example the Prophet would pray throughout the night asking forgiveness from his Lord more than 70 times, then how do we claim to follow his path if we go by days and days and never repent a single time. Another thing the Prophet never did is involve himself in acts of crude shamelessness, as he would not mix with the opposite gender uselessly, and he never touched a non-mahram woman, and yet we find brothers and sisters liberating themselves and going all out when it comes to these important matters. What’s truly important to realize is that when it comes to taking a path with the Prophet (PBUH) it isn’t just  following what is halal, and staying away from the haraam, but it’s trying your best to live your life just like the Prophet (PBUH). You might even disagree with some of the sunnah, in which case you are asked if your opinion even matters in the say. It’s very clear, it comes down to a personal choice in the end, one choice which leads to temporary happiness in this world, and excruciating stress and regret on the Day of Judgement, and one that gives you happiness in fulfilling your purpose of living, by abstaining from that delusional happiness, and in return you are amongst the successful on that Day.

Isn’t it crazy then that as Muslims, we find ourselves littering constantly, backbiting, frowning, spreading rumors, adopting an unforgiving attitude, etc…  Some of us have serious anger issues, beating our children and cussing to our parents, mistreating our friends and fellow brothers and sisters, cursing this one and that one, hating this person and that person, actions conducted by some of us Muslims who claim to follow the Messenger (PBUH). What’s truly unfortunate is that we hear these same people making du’a and motivating their surroundings, trying to spread the deen to the world, when in reality, if one cannot achieve the small steps, how does one then expect to reach the 100^th floor? We don’t even accept responsibility with regards to the small matters and we claim we are able to handle the responsibility of big tasks?

The next verse starts to become even more serious and more powerful. The person starts to complain to himself as he starts to mention why he wasn’t able to follow this path. It’s important to note that it is a source of mercy from Allah SWT that He tells us exactly why we don’t succeed. Sometimes we spend days and days, hours upon hours trying to figure out why we are in the state we are in and we forget to even look at the simple answer. Whether it is because some of us are too scared to admit the problem because our egos come in the way as we imitate Shaytan and try to escape from having to face the problem, or whether it is because we are oblivious, it doesn’t change the fact that it always comes to a personal choice. Funny enough, this choice is what drives our will of undertaking responsibilities. So this very same person, which could be me, or could be you, or anyone else, will be standing in grief, his hands in his mouth saying, “Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend! (28)

This verse is particularly interesting because of the specific wording being used. See Allah doesn’t use Ya laytani  (woe to me), in fact the words used to represent this complaint is Ya waylata. At first glance one would say that it means the same thing, however there is a clear difference between the two expressions. The difference is very subtle but yet it paints a picture that is so specific and sorrowful. the “ta” part of the “waylata” actually adds a very deep sadness in the narrative, so not only is the person complaining about himself or herself but on top of that, they are truly sad, in absolute anguish, in deep depression. One might ask well why is this person so depressed? The cause of this depression is mentioned, and this is where things can become very harsh. If you choose to read beyond this you need to really purify your intentions, so let us all do so now before proceeding. Allah, our Creator, the All-Knower, the One who holds all cures, says that the reason for this anguish is none other than the people you used to call your friends. These very same friends that pushed you to do things that the Prophet and Allah would have never approved of. They made you say words that they would never approved of. They made you behave in shameless ways and made you behave in a way that once again they would never approve of. It’s important to note that is is not necessarily the nature of your friends like we tend to believe (people are not evil generally) but the problem is more in who you become around these people. Who are you when you hang out with this person and how different are you when you hang out with the other. This is not to be confused with hypocrisy and two faced personalities, but rather it is more of an analysis that deals with certain ingredients not mixing properly with one another.

If you take the example of water, the sun, and dust, you would see that each ingredient individually is not harmful, in fact each is needed for something in one way or the other. However, if you take earth, and wet it, and then you let it dry in the sun, you get a brick. Now this brick carries some harm and it could be used as a deadly weapon. This is exactly why the Prophet (PBUH) warned us all very sternly saying that every believer should look and pick his close friends wisely. Some other very famous sayings talk about how you are on the religion of your close friend. Even though you might pray and stay away from the things your friends might do (like drink,  smoke, mix with the other gender, etc…), the fact that you choose these friends says a lot about how careless of a person you may be. You don’t take Allah’s warning seriously, and you don’t take the Prophet’s warning seriously, which can be added as an argument and proof as to how you didn’t follow the path of the Messenger. Also it has been proven from a psychological perspective that when you spend enough time with people, the closeness of two people allows for one to develop habits of the other over time. Either ways, the fact that you don’t hang out with people who remind you of Allah is the true problem as we will see in the next verse.

That day we will regret taking so and so as our friend, and on that day we will love the opportunity to blame them for where we ended up, but we won’t be able to because it’s our fault. Friendship is a choice, we choose who we hang out with, and we choose to stick to certain people over others, and that’s the very simple and blunt truth. What’s truly shocking in this verse is what comes up right after in this same verse. The verse highlights the extent of which this close friend is useless on that day putting in context that this close friend could be one whose Facebook posts you followed religiously, you could have followed all their tweets, you could have texted them day and night, spent hours on the phone with them, you could have spent hours memorizing their favorite colors, flowers, cereal, sports, movie, song, etc… but on that day (brace yourself…) you can’t even remember their name! Imagine right now a close friend of yours and try forgetting their name! How truly powerful is this verse! Subhanallah, you will be referring to this friend using the word “fulan”, because of how useless they really were. In the Arabic language the word fulan is synonymous with so and so, or, this random person, that guy/girl, etc… So really, each and everyone of us need to take a break and really assess who these close friends are, and what kind of path they are leading your life towards. We need to make a choice as to how and with who we will spend your time with.  Wallahi we can surely think of people at some point in our lives, who used to be at the first rows in the masajid, and they used to be leaders of this community and then they disappeared once they started hanging out with the wrong crowd. We know ourselves and how we used to be or still are being limited from our potential just because we waste this very precious time with the wrong people, and because of the people we have taken as our close friend.

Sometimes when we hang out with the wrong crowd, we tend to use the expression “let’s not judge”. However the word Naseeha (sincere advice) also means purity of the heart. So it goes to show that if we don’t advise others when we see them in the wrong because of the fact that we don’t want to be “judgmental” and are too scared to take advice from people because they are too “judgmental”, then we have a problem within our hearts. Know that if we are not influencing the people around us, then undoubtedly we are being influenced. Also know that if you aren’t bothered with your friend being in the wrong, and you don’t do anything about it, then you truly aren’t a sincere friend. Sometimes we might even be in a group of friends, fooling ourselves to believe that we will influence them and guide them. Know that we are told by Allah to save ourselves first before others. Deep down, what is meant by that is that, if we have friends that are dragging us down, then it’s time to cut off these ties, they can still be acquaintances, but it would be very wise not to take them as close friends. Don’t even bother looking at yourself as a bad friend, because even in that there might be a trap of Shaytan, really just look at your friends and ask yourself the question as to whether they truly are good for you basing this goodness not on your fluffy feelings, but more on where they will leave you standing on the Day of Judgement. If they are people who don’t push you to read the Qur’an every day, pray every single one of your prayers and more, attend circles of knowledge, protect your shame, each one of these things being rudimentary, then something is wrong. This is very serious advice, not from me as an author but I am merely a human conveying our Creator’s advice, so take heed from it.

To continue, the next verse explains primarily why this friend was problematic. Allah says that the excuse the person uses for explaining why this friend shouldn’t have been chosen is that “he turned me away from the dhikr (remembrance of Allah, the Qur’an)”. This is exactly why this friend got you there in the first place. Analyze these events and see if the dynamic of your friendships fall into any of the following. “The Qur’an was being recited at a halaqa that I could have attended, but my friend pushed me towards the movies instead, or the fact that I hang out with this person and knowing that they wouldn’t like halaqat, or that I didn’t, I decided to suggest movies instead. This community event was going to be special, and I could renew my faith, and or this Islamic intensive class is coming to Montreal, I could attend it and learn a vast amount of knowledge, but you know what, forget all this, let’s go out and shop instead, or chill at the shisha bar, or worse, my friends told me these guys were extremists” and the list of excuses and influence goes on and on.

Sometimes maybe that person does push you towards these great things, but another problem, and an even deeper one, is the person who would help you recite it and learn it but when it came to applying it, it was never something that they helped you with. Because what they turned us away from was dhikr as stated in the Qur’an and the dhikr is not knowledge, it’s not words, but really remembrance. In remembrance as a word,there is highlight of an action; remembering requires effort from the mind, a conscious decision to make the action of remembering. This also means that if you are not remembering anything when it is being recited then what good will it do for you. If you can’t comprehend it what good will it do. What’s really beautiful to highlight as well is the wording “idh ja’ ani”, “and it came to me”.  This dhikr, remembrance was coming to you daily, but they turned you away from these things. Everyday is a remembrance to return to Allah, to repent, but if you find yourself not making tawbah because of the distractions these friends supply, then how truly sad is this state. How truly merciful is Allah that when it comes to this knowledge, Allah sends it your way in many forms and many times in a day through the subtlest of formats sometimes. Nowadays this verse is especially relevant seeing that access to this remembrance, to this knowledge of the Qur’an is available everywhere; you have libraries with hundreds of free books to take out, phone apps in the thousands, thousands of YouTube videos, each giving you access to Allah’s message.

“And verily shaytan was a khadoula”. In this verse, there are many lessons to extract. The word khadoula represents a deciever, but not just any type of deceiver, a friend or a companion that promised you a whole lot of goodness, yet this goodness never comes. We can pretty much think of a friend, who is always there to have fun, there to show you a good time, promised us that our state is good and there is nothing wrong with us, and then when we really need this friend he’s gone, nowhere to be found. One of the ways Shaytan manifests himself in this way is through our friends. With every little activity that is a true waste of time in the end, he promises you to be there all the time, that you are both going to enjoy it, but then just as things start to become serious (you realize you have no time left, or the haraam you thought was cool starts to develop into a type you weren’t expecting at all, like the boyfriend/girlfriend example that ends in pregnancy), he leaves you. Analyze your friends seriously, and ask yourself if they will be there for you on the Day of judgement that is as long as 50 000 years. Sure they could have been there for you for 70 years, 50 years or less, but remember that this is the same day where a mothers would ransom their children for their safety, where a child would ransom his parents and so on.

If all of that wasn’t enough now the Prophet (PBUH) is complaining. Allah says in the last verse we will be covering for this article, “They deserted this Qur’an.” Allah uses the word hathal Qur’an, when referring to the Qur’an instead of using dhalika which both mean this Qur’an. However for anyone who has a basic understanding of Arabic, they will immediately appreciate the difference within these two words. “Hatha” refers to something that is “qareeb”, something close, while as dhalika is not something that is close generally. Allah is once again putting emphasis on how close the Qur’an was and how one was constantly turned away from the Holy words of Allah. You carried it in your house only to accumulate dust, you had it on your PC, but only the few songs you liked made it on your MP3, you heard it in the mosques and in your house, but never followed it. The other sad point to note, is the Prophet (PBUH) our teacher, is now upset.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen someone who has done so much for you becoming upset. Imagine your mother, your father or your teacher expressing his sadness because of the way you behave, if you have a heart then it would break yours. Now this Prophet has done more than any person has ever done for you, he would make dua’ for you daily, he would speak with his closest companions about how he longed to meet you, how he would be the only Prophet on the Day of Judgement who will say, “Oh Allah but they were a part of my ummah!”* when you are being told you will be punished. Now this very same person is saying that we left the Qur’an “Mahjurah”, once again using this specific word “mahjurah” instead of “matruka”. The difference between “matruka” and “mahjurah” is that matruka just means to leave behind, while as mahjurah almost like hijrah is to leave far behind, almost as if you made something forgotten. Almost as if this Qur’an simply didn’t even exist to you, or was just a name in the back of your mind. Once again, even if you are a person who recites it and never acts upon it, then it’s still migration, and even worse you would carry with you the quality of Bani Israel.  How truly unfortunate that we have forsaken this book, and primarily our state is a reflection of our connection to this Qur’an.

We tend to concentrate on everyone’s rights in this worldly life, and we have forgotten to give the Qur’an its rights. Ifyou haven’t opened it in a month, if you don’t even open it every day,  even if it’s for 2 lines, or 1 ayah, then you’re not giving it its rights. This is exactly why you take on these friends who will do you no good on the Day of Judgement, this is why you never followed the Prophet’s path, and why you could be left biting on your two hands. Everything is interconnected, analyze your friends, because they could be the ones who don’t push you to connect with the Qur’an and due to this lack of connection, you will be okay with having these people as your close friends. May Allah guide us and make us amongst the ones who follow the best of speeches. May Allah make us righteous friends and bless us with righteous close friends. May He protect us from straying away from the path of the Prophet  (PBUH), and may He reward us with jannatul firdaws. If any good came from this article then it came solely from Allah SWT alone, and if any mistakes or errors were made, then they were caused by my own weaknesses and shortcomings, as well as the shaytan’s whisperings, and I ask any reader to forgive me sincerely.

Source of Mercy

Imagine yourself one day, in a time of war, a fierce battle ongoing right in front of your eyes. You stare in the midst of a desert, swords clashing, chants breaking, and in your mind you think of only one thing. You think about your son, who was just born 3 to 4 months ago.  You’ve spent so much time raising the child and now, in this war, you have been separated from him, captured as a prisoner. The thought of losing him hurts you. You panic, heart starts racing, palms sweating, worried you turn to the leader of the army that had captured you, to ask if they saw your child. The army leader seeks out the child but are unable to find him, and as you see the leader’s facial expression, you dwell in anguish, almost despairing. Finally the leader turns to the army and together they all launch a massive search party. After a long period of time, of swinging from hope to fear, to hope and back to fear again, someone, announces that they have found him. The thick taste in your throat finally makes its way down, you grab your child, and quickly but gently tend to him, holding him softly but firmly to your chest.

The story is one that had it’s occurrence in the past, during the Prophet’s (PBUH) time.  When this woman found her child, and tended to him, the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked the army, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?’ They were startled by the question because after all that happened they knew the answer with certainty. ‘No, by Allah,’ they responded. The Prophet then said (PBUH) said, ‘Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child.’ Pause, reflect, look back to the story, read it again, feel everything this mother is feeling, go through each of her emotional phases, live them, now stop.

If this story is not touching enough to bring you close to tears, then bear with me for maybe the next lines will. Many times we sin, whether it is with the daily misuse of our tongues, uttering things we shouldn’t, speaking without knowledge or shame,  backbiting, which is to say something about someone that they would not like being said if they were there, or more other sins like staring at that which you shouldn’t, drugs, drinking, etc… Some of us, when we sin are oblivious, yet some of us, hurt and constantly beat ourselves down. We defeat ourselves, we give up on even trying to fix up our lives. Some of us fall into deeper sins and confusion, unhappy, looking for temporary satisfaction within our friends or families, our tv shows or songs, etc… We hurt, we want to scream it out so loud yet instead we choose to swallow it, because we feel as though if anyone knew, you would be judged, you would hurt more, and it is much easier to fake strength than admit to being weak. So you hurt even more, as the days pass slowly by, to each one you hope a cure falls from somewhere, to take you away from this life so you could stop hurting, or for a time when things would feel differently.

All the while you were hurting, One was waiting. Waiting patiently for the opportunity to come when He could deliver you away from this pain. All the while you were accumulating in pain, accumulating stains on your heart, burying it deeper, and deeper, until it couldn’t breathe any longer, until it screamed for someone to help, and One was waiting. Waiting to liberate your heart, and bring it to ease and send to it tranquility and serenity. Oh slave of Allah, do not hurt any longer, for verily Allah does not want you to hurt. Allah wants to forgive you, He wants you to come back to Him, He wants those tears to be wiped, your frown to be turned upside down. He wants for you ease. Yet at the other end of the line is a creature so vile, it doesn’t wish for you to see that.

Shaytan was the same being who when he was told that Allah forgives all sins, decided to forget it all completely, and run away from this blessing. His ego prevented him from achieving such a sweetness; instead he decided to live life the sour way and preferred the horrific end. In the end he still thought that it was not his fault, yet it was Adam’s for sending him away from Jannah. So he swore his vengeance to his pride, and tried to make Adam forget the Mercy and Greatness of his Lord. Similarly, in today’s context the rules are the same. Shaytan hates that you know that Allah is all forgiving, because he himself knows so and decides to fight it with everything in him. So he tries to make you forget. He makes you forget that Allah loves to forgive, that He is Rahman and Raheem, constantly Merciful. Shaytan wants you to forget that Allah loves to accept one’s repentance, that it pleases Him so much, that if He had an earth full of people who would never sin, then He would destroy them all and replace them all with sinners who would turn back to Him in repentance (as stated in a Hadith Qudsi). That Allah is Afuww, that the word comes from the root ‘afw, which means to hide, obliterate, or remove something, which means not only is He forgiving but He also decides in other words “forgive and forget (not literally)”. This means that He will not only forgive your sins, but completely erase them, as if they had never happened. That men would come in front of Allah with sins the size of a mountain, and Allah will still forgive them.

Then why do we despair. Do we not know that we are falling into Shaytan’s traps. That sometimes he will surround us with egotistical beliefs and friends that will from there cover up this beautiful reminder of Allah’s Mercy. That he will busy your time so much in the day that you will not stop a single second and reflect about Allah’s Mercy and countless blessings. That this very same accursed one will delay you from repentance, so He will prevent you from being amongst those who are pleased by Allah. That’s what he wants, the more companions he can gather to be like him and follow his way. So my brothers and sisters, remember your Lord. Remember the duaa “Allahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibul ‘afwa fa’fu ‘anni,” keeping in mind the word Afuwwun and its profundity. “O Allah, indeed You are the Pardoner, You love to Pardon, so Pardon me.” Remember Allah’s words “Say, O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Another thing that Shaytan doesn’t want you to know, and so he constantly covers this up for you daily, is that it doesn’t really matter how many times you mess up, what’s important is that you never give up forget that Allah could still forgive you, that it’s about remembering Allah every one of those “mess ups” and remember that He is still willing to forgive you.  That it’s not about messing up or not but rather if you will have the mentality of one who repents, because let’s face it, we will never be perfect, so let’s accept our imperfection and strive to please Allah none the less by striving to become as perfect as we can be. Keep in mind that it doesn’t mean that the doors to sinning are open, rather it means that you should never focus on the greatness of the sin more than the Greatness of the all Forgiving.

If you still aren’t tearing a bit, here’s another try. One of the most beautiful ahadith that I have ever come accross was one found in Saheeh Muslim. In this life we know that Allah is very Merciful. If we just take ten minutes a day to reflect on what we have,  then we would surely see that we would lose count and that there is no measure to describe the Mercy of Allah. Our eyes, ears, nose, hands, legs, eyes, houses, sleep, education, every disease you could have but don’t have, every step you could have tripped yet Allah didn’t allow it, every night you slept and Allah could have allowed it to be your last night, or for a thief or serial killer to creep in and Allah disallowed that from happening. Now think about this Mercy in this life, and read through this hadith. In Saheeh Muslim it is narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, mankind, the animals and the insects, by means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring. And Allaah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.”

Already we know just how Merciful Allah is with us with what had been mentioned earlier, now what one needs to realize is that this is but one part of the Mercy of Allah. Imagine the next 99 parts! So how can we despair if we know this, and believe in it firmly. This should serve as a boost to allow us to never give up, and help us raise ourselves off the ground and try again and again after every fall. Muslims need to start realizing that it’s never really over until it’s over with our deaths so it’s time for us to wake up and seize this Mercy before it is finally too late. The Mercy of Allah is what will admit His believing slaves to Paradise on the Day of Resurrection. Even the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one’s deeds will ever admit him to Paradise.” They said, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “No, not even me, unless Allaah showers me with His Mercy. So try to be near to perfection. And no one should wish for death; he is either doing good so he will do more of that, or he is doing wrong so he may repent.”

This Hadith is beautiful because it shows that even with our deeds we will never repay Allah, so it’s not about repaying Him, it’s a completely different mentality that we need to acquire.  The beauty of the Hadith continues when it talks about even the Prophet (PBUH) needing this Mercy, that in the end we are all in need, each one of us as equally as the other. Then it shows the true mentality to have which is living life with Ihsan, always trying to remember Allah and gain His pleasure (and that is done by staying away from haraam and doing righteous actions). The mentality should therefore be to please Him and be as perfect as we can so we can deserve the greatest of Mercy of His, and admittance in Paradise, but when you just look at the dry rules without comprehension as to why you stay away from them, you won’t see the benefit or even want to follow them. Finally the Prophet (PBUH) is saying that each opportunity is one to get closer to Allah, and that in the end we will stray away from the right mentality, but we struggle to consistently put ourselves back on the right track. That is why he (PBUH) said, that when one does something wrong it is an opportunity to repent, and Allah is Afuww, so not only will He accept because He loves it, He will love you more and will erase it completely.

Lastly, it is important to remember that just like any prize there is a time to claim it, and with this Mercy you have until your death. Just as Allah tells us to consistently repent, He also reminds us that once you die you won’t be able to, so hasten towards it. “And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him, (in Islam), before the torment comes upon you, then you will not be helped.”(Qur’an 39:53-54). Which brings us to the reality that we need to acknowledge we will die one day, and that is something that all human beings are promised. One thing about death is you can never control it, therefore what this means is you never know when you will have your actual last chance to repent. So don’t gamble it, play it safe and start today, because you don’t even know if today might be your last day.

Obstacles to Change – Part 1

Responsibility. A word that human beings never want to get to know, constantly run away from, yet fail to realize that it is there whether they like it or not. Just like your nose, you can run away from a mirror all you like, resist any desire to touch it or feel it, constantly turn down any thoughts related to your nose, but in the end, it’s still there (I know … it’s true but definitely a silly example). Well, if it’s still there, then why do we constantly run away from it? It’s simple, because we just don’t want to deal with it.

One of the greatest arts we have perfected as human beings is the art of running away from our responsibilities or in other words, our problems. As humans we constantly find different reasons to put off our problems using different self learned illusory “techniques”. These techniques are the roots of the obstacles that keep people from owning up to their actions, and making the positive changes to become serene. The first is blame; one of the most common tools used to brush off our problems. One of the biggest sign of someone who will not likely change a habit is a person who deceives themselves into thinking that they’re being held back by others. It can also be referred to as the idea of “external shackles”. Have you ever been in a position where you are being pressured by your peers to do something that you know you shouldn’t do, or told by your parents to undergo a specific career path, and eventually you end up giving in? Surely, your reaction after doing so was blaming them for the decision, saying “It’s all because of you” or “I did it for you”.

Sometimes people delay change and taking responsibility for their life decisions for the simple fact that they come up with reasons for obstacles of why they can’t do something. This applies for anyone who keeps saying things like “it’s not my fault,” “my parents raised me this way,” “I wasn’t given attention,” and the list goes on and on. For example, a sister really wants to put on the hijab, she truly is convinced but tells herself, “I just can’t because my environment, and my friends make it impossible.” What this person is denying and what they need to know is that it doesn’t take away the person’s say in the matter, it doesn’t eliminate their choice in this play. One can adjust their lives accordingly if they really wanted to own up to this responsibility, yet it is always easier to blame others for our wrong doings. If this sister wants to identify where she stands and critically come up with a solution to the change she wants to make, she would undoubtedly then change her environment to best suit her needs.

Sometimes people blame their parents and will tell themselves things like “I need to shave my beard because my parents are telling me so, and I need to follow my parents …” Allah  says about this “Whoever chooses to follow the right path, follows it but for his own good; and whoever goes astray, goes but astray to his own loss; and no bearer of burdens shall be made to bear another’s burden” [Isra’ 15]. What this verse means is that nobody in life is forced to bare the burden of the other, which means that it is a conscious decision from the person to make them their burden. Allah talks about these kinds of shackles, saying that when Islam was revealed through the Prophet (SAW), mankind was liberated from these shackles, “(…) relieves them of their burden and the shackles which were upon them (…)  [Al A’raf 157]. What this verse is trying to explain is that as soon as you become a Muslim, these shackles are not there anymore, that you become free of them, unless however of course you decide to imprison yourself in illusions. The sad fact is that sometimes we spend so much time blaming and complaining, when we could just use that same time and energy and use it for positive change.

The second means we use to run away from our problems is what is referred to as internal or self-imposed shackles. Self-imposed shackles are the hardest to overcome because they are not necessarily tangible obstacles. Not only is it easier to see something that is external rather than internal, another factor that makes this type of obstacle hard to deal with is the fact that it imposed by your own hands. In other words, you become your biggest enemy, and it is never easy to fight yourself. There are various types of internal shackles, amongst them are: laziness, procrastination, excessive guilt and learned helplessness. Before describing each however, a point that needs to be highlighted is that sometimes external shackles can accentuate internal shackles. What this means for example is that some external shackle like debts can affect one’s self esteem which then becomes not only an external problem but one of the internal as well, which becomes even harder to surpass. In other words, you become your own enemy.

People often compare laziness with procrastination. Laziness is very special in its way. When someone is lazy what happens is that they know there is something to change but they don’t feel like simply doing something about it, while as procrastination is when the person wants to but keeps pushing it away due to other priorities coming in the way. The dangers of laziness is that the more one gets consumed in the cycle, the more unlikely the person will end up doing anything about it and the more likely (through cognitive dissonance), the person will slowly get assimilated into believing that there is no need to change anything, “I’m perfect the way I am.” When it comes to procrastination it’s a similar danger; the more you let off tasks, the more you will keep procrastinating. Unfortunately it becomes a cycle and like a disease in the sense that one needed change becomes two needed changes, and then three until you become so overburdened by things you need to change, that it depresses you and consumes you. Also, it may have the ultimate danger of making you believe that you don’t need to change once again, because of the dynamics of cognitive dissonance used to deal with this acquired anxiety. The best way to avoid it is to never begin the cycle.

Sometimes procrastination takes different forms, when it comes to important things needing change (specifically if by change we mean repentance). Sometimes people start to look for a sign, which is quite scary because this is undoubtedly one of Shaytan’s oldest traps. For example, this same sister mentioned before who wants to change but tells herself she can’t unless she goes to Saudi Arabia. Another brother says he won’t stop dating this girl until he hits Ramadan, and then he’s going to stop. Parents most often use the excuse, “In sha Allah when I go for Hajj or Umrah, I will start praying, putting on the hijab, etc… but when that day comes I will definitely make the changes required.  What’s very scary is that they never end up changing, or death comes unannounced before this sign ever arrives.

Allah  warns us about certain people on the Day of Judgement who will blame their procrastination saying, “And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith to your Lord and submit to Him, before the torment comes upon you, then you will not be helped.” [Az-Zumar 54]. Allah then goes on in the next verses saying “Or (lest) he should say when he sees the torment: “If only I had another chance (to return to the world) then I should indeed be among the good doers.” [58]. The reality is that Allah knows that we would repeat the same actions if we were given another chance. The even clearer reality is that every single day we are alive is a chance that we are given by Allah to change, yet we abuse chance after chance and never change. So the claim isn’t “just give me one more chance” but rather the true claim is “what are you doing with your chances?”. These two primary shackles are the one with the most impact when it comes to keeping us away from accountability whether personal or social. It’s like the example of driving a car and almost getting into an accident, you can close your eyes all you like, but you will undoubtedly crash. Unfortunately, this won’t be the article dealing specifically with how to overcome laziness or procrastination specifically, perhaps in a future article.

The next two techniques we use to delay our change or obstruct ourselves from changing are excessive guilt and learned helplessness. The two can be deeply rooted and dangerous frames of the mind, which require one to completely change the thought process first before anything. Excessive guilt is when a person becomes paralyzed by past mistakes, and leads to a person continuously beating themselves for that reason, and further issues like low self esteem, a sense of worthlessness, etc… Allah says about this in the same chapter just before “Say: “O ‘My slaves who have transgressed against themselves by committing evil deeds and sins! Despair not in the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Allah is acknowledging the fact that people will despair and it will lead them to delay repentance or change. Many times you meet brothers or sisters who live a shaky life style, and think themselves that they have no chance. Sometimes it is a sister who has removed her hijab, sometimes a brother who commits fornication, and they condemn themselves and further lead themselves into never ending beatings and despair. The reality is the following, you failed once, now get up and try again, you’ve been given another chance don’t lose this battle too. Unfortunately sometimes, the person has forced themselves to believe that it’s done, that they are ultimately doomed, and that is the true defeat. As the saying goes, “Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get back up.” What the person needs to realize in this case is that they do have control over their thought, that they are fooling themselves and are inflicting pain upon themselves. That’s why self imposed shackles are the worst, because when you become your own enemy, you lose track of what’s going on and how to fight back. So brothers and sisters, take heed from Allah’s advice, never, and I say never despair in His mercy, and know that if you do, there is nobody to blame except for yourself, and you will lead yourself in a spiral of negative emotions until the day you make the decision to stand up and fight back.

When it comes to learned helplessness, the best describing story of the matter is the one of the elephant. The circus elephant had his neck once tied to a rope he could not break out of as a child and when he had been fully grown as an adult, he still could not (though he had the physical strength now to even break the whole tent that was holding him back). What this shows is that some of us teach ourselves how to be weak and worthless when in fact we can actually change without a problem. Key sentences like “I’m bad”, or “I just can’t”, etc… teaches a person how to become useless in situations that they could have otherwise handled excellently. There is a very serious story that happened during the Prophet’s time PBUH, that really goes to show how often we can when we say we can’t. When the Prophet (SAW) saw a man eating with his left hand he said to him: “Eat with your right hand.’ The man said: ‘I can’t’. The Prophet (SAW) there upon said: “May you not be able”. He refused (to eat with his right hand) out of arrogance or sheer excuses that had no true meaning. He was not able to raise that hand again. So the question isn’t “can I or can’t I”, but one needs to start realizing is that it really comes down to “do I or don’t I”.

All in all, we always teach ourselves new techniques and ways to stop ourselves from moving forward. However Allah constantly brings us back to reality in the Qur’an saying: “Whoever chooses to follow the right path, follows it but for his own good; and whoever goes astray, goes but astray to his own loss (…)”. You chose your path, whether you go astray or decide to become wrapped with Allah’s guidance. In the end there will be things only up to Allah, but our decisions are not made by Him, and that doesn’t take away a person’s will in choosing what to do no or not do. Allah says in a very serious sequence of verses in the Qur’an “And whomsoever turns away from my remembrance, We will give him a depressed life”. If you ever felt depressed know for a fact that the reason could have simply been because you chose to be that way, to put yourself in that position. I’m not saying that everything is in your control ultimately, but before always jumping to conclusions about change, ask yourself if there really was a tangible opposing factor or if you were the only factor all along.

The Prophet also said, Allah will meet a person and ask him, “O person, wasn’t I generous to you? And didn’t I give you a spouse and make the horses and camels at your disposal?” The servant will reply, “Yes!” Allah will then ask, “Did you think that you will meet Me?” He will reply, “No!” Allah will say, “I will forget you as you forgot Me.” Then Allah Almighty will meet another person and his reply will be the same as the first person’s. Then again He will meet a third person and will ask similar questions, and the person’s reply will be, “O Lord, I believed in You, in Your books, and in Your messengers. I prayed, I fasted, and I gave charity.” And he will praise Allah as much as he can. Allah will say, “Hold on to your words, now We will bring the witnesses.” The person will ask himself, “Who will testify against me?” Then that person’s mouth will be sealed, and his thighs, flesh, and bones will be asked to speak. They will speak about his bad deeds. He will know that he has no excuse. That is the hypocrite with whom Allah the Exalted will be furious. (Muslim). What this hadith shows us is that sometimes you think the shackles are external and that they are the reasons to blame others, but on the Day of Judgement, everything will be cleared up since you will be testifying against yourself, all these problems you tried to hide yourself will be exposed by your very limbs used to hide them. My advice is the following then, do not wait for you to be held accountable by yourself on the Day of Judgement, rather take the time now to critically advise yourself and make the necessary changes for your after-life.

Although these issues are better left treated individually and through a specific method, here are some general solutions that if undertaken properly, you will see a definite change in the mentality, in the framework of the mind and from there changing them and ridding yourself from these techniques will become a whole lot easier. The first is to constantly analyze yourself critically and question yourself for every decision you make. Ask yourself who you’re doing it for and why you are doing it, if you’re truly forced to do it or if you just think you need to. This concept of self-awareness will allow you to keep yourself accountable and will help you identify yourself as the blame for your problems. Which brings me to my second point, always blame yourself for your failures, don’t blame others. Thirdly, remember death for verily death is the killer of pleasures. There is a reason why Allah repeats death so many times in the Qur’an. Death grounds you, brings you to reality, and helps you refocus on your every dealing and allows you to develop an responsible side to decision making and accountability. Lastly always look at the social accountability sphere just as you remember the self. Analyze how a single decision you make can affect others and the society, either helping them or bringing to them harm. Remember Musa and the sinner, and how you might think you only affect yourself, but in the end it is not always the case.

Feel free to comment and give some pointers as to how you keep yourself accountable and help yourself deal with your obstacles to change. If you want even write a story that is relevant with the theme.

The Hardened Heart – Part 1

You’ve witnessed a death of a relative, of a close one. You’ve seen calamities befall others, you’ve been a part of blessed days full of joy and beauty. You’ve enjoyed the pleasures of food just as you have become sick , you’ve enjoyed the walks in the sand, just as you’ve seen others torn from their feet. You’ve seen the drop of water trickle down from your glass, just as you’ve heard of people deceased from thirst. However not once were you grateful for every one of those blessings, and not once was your heart in a state of panic when you witnessed calamities. You’ve seen or heard of death surely, but just as surely forgotten it the next day. All were signs of a hardened heart.

Have you ever asked yourself why you couldn’t cry when you were reciting al Fatiha (the opening), that when you reach verses saying king of the Day of Judgement, that our heart doesn’t pounce nor do our foreheads become damp. Have you ever been in a situation where you have heard someone die, yet couldn’t shed a single tear. When was the last time you stayed up during the long nights, prostrating to your Lord, crying, relieving yourself from all the burdens you have put upon yourself. Surely the last was long ago, surely again are those all signs of a hardened heart. Allah says, “Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah’s Reminder and that which has been revealed of the truth, lest they become as those who received the Scripture before and the term was prolonged for them and so their hearts were hardened?” [Al-Hadeed 57:16]

Why have our hearts hardened? The Prophet (PBUH) said  “When the believer commits sin, a black spot appears on his heart. If he repents and gives up that sin and seeks forgiveness, his heart will be polished. But if the sin increases, the black spot increases. That is the “raan” which Allah mentions in His Book: ‘Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn’ .” [Al-Tirmithi] Our hearts have hardened, have been murdered and abused and culprit is nobody else but ourselves. We sin day and night, neglect Allah and His call. We are given chance after chance, day after day to repent and find our way, to become of better servitude to Allah, yet many of us ignore the call, as we keep covering our hearts with black stains. We fail to see the extent of our own actions, the degree of danger we are causing, we are so heedless, and it’s that same heedlessness that has taken you away from your Lord. Ask yourself the question sincerely, how close are you to Allah. Evaluate yourself. The idea is not to depress you but as humans we are in need of a constant reality check. Why a reality check? Because the Prophet (PBUH) also mentioned as part of a larger hadith in Tirmithi, “And indeed, the person most distant from Allah is one with a hardened heart.”

Some of us believe we have already made it to heaven, and unfortunately for us it is not the case until we are actually there. Furthermore there is a group that has been paralyzed by this fear, and that as well is no good. One must remember to focus solely on oneself and to take the necessary means to cure the heart and rid it of diseases, for verily this will be the defining decision as to whether you will be successful or not on the Day of Judgement. This is why you can never stress enough the importance of cleansing one’s heart, and keeping it pure and fearing a hardened heart even if it is but a single spot. Allah says. ” On that Day (the Day of Judgement) none shall be saved except him who will come before Allah with a pure, sound heart (Qalbin Saleem)” [26:89]. In the next weeks, we will cover some specific topics on heart hardeners, and poisons of the heart, as well as how to cure them, giving practical examples and relevant ways to act upon this dangerous and rising issue. Let this serve as an introduction to this humble series, and another call for us to turn back and repent, and make the best of our lives.

The State of the Ummah

The Ummah is damaged, hurt, screaming in pain, calling out to its people, as the people ignore the calls, ignore the anguish, the torment, the suffering. We have our brothers and sisters in Palestine, Burma, Syria, Somalia and the list furthers itself, dying daily, unable to survive due to insufficient means of living, no shelter, no food, no water. Others are killed, tortured, some are raped and humiliated, as we sit on our couches watching reruns of the Simpsons and Family Guy, or a new episode of Vampire Diaries.

Some of our hearts have been shut, while others have been active, deprived of sleep. Some of us have even decided to find solutions to these problems, seeking to make a change, hoping to save their fellow brothers and sisters. However these people throw their efforts into a sea of nothingness, as situations only get worse. A man wants to build wells in Palestine, sisters building refugee camps for the Burmese, all to which we hope that Allah accepts, but none of those ever truly fix the problem. The disease is deep, one that cannot be solved by giving food and providing shelter, or by talking about it and sharing media about the issue. However, it doesn’t mean that one should stop doing these great things, it just goes to say that the solution just like the problem is deep, and that while we spend so much time curing the symptoms, some of us have completely forgotten to work on the actual cure to the disease.

Similarly, we zoom the lens on our own communities living in the west. Growing rates of depression, suicides, divorce rates, murders, gangs, etc. Eventually like an epidemic it starts to infest our society, affecting even the strongest and most willed. People then try to find ways to fight these off these diseases, volunteering in this organization for people who want to commit suicide, some volunteering to help the homeless and battered women, trying to once again cure the disease, as the disease grows quicker than ever. You try to change everything, but things get worse.

We search for cures of diseases, by developing cures for symptoms, and because of that things never change. So what is the solution? Little did we know we had it all the time, but our focus was shifted away from it. Allah says in the Qur’an (13:11), “Truly, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”

See the thing is we concentrate on the wrong question, we are so focused on why things aren’t changing, why things from a material point of view aren’t getting better, instead of questioning for even a second about how much change we have made within ourselves first. We focus more on the question where do I stand in front of those people, trying to help them, while we completely neglect the question where do I stand in front of Allah. The shift has its cause, and the cause is simple, we have forgotten our true purpose, the reality of our creation, what it truly means to worship Allah in every sense of our lives. We have deluded ourselves into thinking that we are the masters of this world, the orchestrators, the puppeteers, when in the end we have clearly forgotten that Allah is the One running the show.

Allah says in the Qur’an (51:56), “And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me. Most of us have heard this verse countless of times, preached it, and memorized it, recited it in our worship, yet we forget about it and forget to instill it in our everyday lives. What’s really special about these verses is the fact that many of us have encountered this one to the very least, but the next one is of an unfamiliar nature. Allah then says in the next verse (51:57), “I do not want from them any provision, nor do I want them to feed Me.” He is stating in this verse the fact that we have forgotten our purpose, saying that He never commanded us to sustain Him, to build long buildings, businesses, planes and trucks. He never commanded us to go out there and get our degrees and build ourselves houses and a wealth that never ceases to decrease. Rather, He asked for one thing, and as human beings we have excelled in all things except for that one simple task we were given. How truly unfortunate …

Our priorities have been set in disorder, where we seek to excel in matters of this worldly life first and then make up a small part of our time for the actual important matters. Since the beginning, what Allah wanted was for us to serve Him. Nowadays, however, you see Muslims in packs ready to fulfill themselves first before they even begin to think about Allah’s rights, and that’s where our first mistake was made, the start of all of these problems, the root of the disease, the pest we have forgotten to exterminate: a displacement or replacement of our priorities.with regards to how we live our lives.

Allah says in the Qur’an (30:41) “Corruption has appeared throughout the land and sea by [reason of] what the hands of people have earned (1), so He may let them taste part of [the consequence of] what they have done (2) that perhaps they will return [to righteousness]. (3) The beauty of these verses relies on the questions being answered one by one. The first part of the verse addresses the people who keep asking why is this all happening. To them Allah is accusing them, saying that they are the cause, that it is through our sins day and night that we have caused this, that each of us plays a guilty role in this act. The second part addresses the people who say where is God in all of this. The reality is Allah is responding saying that this whole time He was sending His Mercy on us because what we are going through is only a part of what we truly have caused. Imagine now what it would be like had Allah allowed for us to taste the full extent of our actions … Finally Allah answers the question of how do we fix things, what is the solution, telling us that the only way to fix all of this, to cure the disease is to wake up, repent, come back to our Lord, to end our sins.

 3 highlights:

1)     All of it is directly caused by our hands

2)     A taste (only a part) so imagine if it was all of it.

3)     He does this so we learn a lesson, so we turn back on our ways and fix them. So we make the conscious decision and decide to come back to Allah.

Unfortunately the call goes from one ear through the other, as we neglect this clear sign. Some of us go on to point fingers continuously with no end, hoping that others will heed from this call and make a change. Some of us within our communities not only ignore these blatant calls, but develop a sense of arrogance as the call is being made, thinking to ourselves that we are way too special to be a part of the change, let someone else take care of it. We think ourselves to be so special, like if the whole world can wait on us, like if we don’t need to wake up immediately, like if we shouldn’t worry because there is still time, everything will fix itself. Let’s just chill back and relax, and make the most of our lives, we say. The attitude for everything.

Allah responds to these people, questioning them, saying “you want to deny the call? You want to act like your deaf or blind when We have given you eyes and ears, that you think that you are not even minutely responsible for any of the chaos that’s been taking place today? To these people He says “And if you turn away, He will replace you with another people; then they will not be the likes of you …”

So don’t you ever think yourself to be special because you will be the only one that will be losing. Nobody else loses except for us. Allah says that these people who will replace us, will not be like us. They will repent, and they will make the necessary changes to help actually make a difference. So my brothers and sisters this warning, is the warning that starting today we should embody and instill very deeply within our minds. Start making tawbah, perfect your worship for indeed that was the reason for your creation, and only that will cure the actual disease.

I want to end off with the story of Musa and the sinner of Bani Israel, which truly highlights how we are so interconnected and how we are interdependent in the sense that until we all make the decision to make a change within ourselves first, then the state and affairs of our ummah, our communities, and even our own affairs will never get better, but will only be given an opportunity to become worse.

It was narrated that in the days that Prophet Musa (AS) wandered with the Children of Israel in the desert, an intense drought befell them. Together, they raised their hands towards the heavens praying for the blessed rain to come. Then, to the astonishment of Prophet Musa (PBUH) and all those watching, the few scattered clouds that were in the sky vanished, the heat poured down, and the drought intensified.

It was revealed to Musa that there was a sinner amongst them who had disobeyed Allah for more than forty years of his life. “Let him separate himself from the congregation,” Allah revealed to Musa (PBUH) “Only then shall I shower you all with rain.”

So Musa turned to his people and said, “There is a person amongst us who has disobeyed Allah (SWT) for forty years. Let him separate himself from the congregation and only then shall we be rescued from the drought.” That man waited, looking left and right, hoping that someone else would step forward, but no one did. Sweat poured forth from his brow and he knew that he was the one. The man knew that if he stayed amongst the congregation all would die of thirst and that if he stepped forward he would be humiliated for all eternity.

He raised his hands with a sincerity he had never known before, with humility he had never tasted, and as tears poured down on both cheeks he said, “O Allah, have mercy on me! O Allah, hide my sins! O Allah, forgive me!” As everyone waited for the sinner to step forward, the clouds hugged the sky and the rain poured. Prophet Musa (PBUH) asked Allah (SWT), “O Allah, you blessed us with rain even though the sinner did not come forward.”

Allah (SWT) replied, “O Musa, it is for the repentance of that very person that I blessed all of Bani Israel (Children of Israel) with water.” Musa wanting to know who this blessed man was, asked, “Show him to me O Allah!” Allah (SWT) replied, “O Musa, I hid his sins for forty years, do you think that after his repentance I shall expose him?”

Beautiful touching story with so many lessons to take from it, but the key point is that sometimes we think our sins affect only ourselves, when it is not the case, it affects ourselves, then our families, then our communities, then our countries, then the world. My brothers and sisters people always ask about our ummah, but we always reply that our ummah is sleeping, and the reason we are still sleeping is because we’re too busy not making a change and expecting it to come out of nowhere. Let us all make a sincere intention to renew our faith, and work towards the actual solution, a change within ourselves.

Here are a couple of action items that will help you in making this change …Feel free to comment and add more of your own tips as to how you can make a change.

1- Pray Qiyyamul Layl at least once a week pick a day, 30 min before fajr (2 units, with witr, make duaa)

2- Focus on a sin you are constantly committing, and work towards a plan of completely overcoming it within three weeks, and so on until you start to root our a sin or habit a month. Write it down, and be sincere in the process.

3- Learn the Dua’ “Allahuma ya Muqalib al qulub, thabit qulubana ‘ala dinik” = “Oh Allah, the Changer of the hearts, instill my heart upon this deen.”

Who Really Knows …

Education – who really needs that, right? A lot of times we’re exposed to complaints by our peers and parents about how we should take education seriously, but when it comes to knowledge that benefits us for the hereafter, we neglect it in all ways. Is it not funny how we know formulas and formulas from calculus, to statistics, to physics, etc… but when we are asked about the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and the names of all his wives, we become clueless? Now, secular education is definitely important and there is no denying that without this type of education, one will end up with very little means for surviving in this world, but no physics formula will increase you in your relationship with Allah or save you from a punishment decreed by your Lord. Unfortunately, in today’s times, way too much emphasis and importance is attributed to the one who has three degrees and no knowledge of Islam or what he recites 17 times a day (the Fatiha), while little to no respect or great status is given to the scholar or student of knowledge, one who is truly understanding of Islam.

Now the Prophet SAW was sent for many reasons but amongst those reasons was the fact that he was sent as a liberator, to free people from the shackles of society. part of liberating people was to spread the knowledge of Islam, the true meaning of peace and freedom, deconstructing the social constructs society had placed to enslave its people. Why do we say this? Because a man with true knowledge will never be a slave of society; and that doesn’t mean the stereotypical image of the man who is topless and bounded to a chain, that is but one of the types of slavery but not the one being discussed.

There are two types of shackles, some that we put upon ourselves and some that are put onto us by the others. The Prophet (PBUH) said that the one who decides to live a humiliated life when he has the choice of not living that way, then he is not from amongst us (ie. a true follower), because a believer is a liberated man or woman, and should never live by the shackles of society. What this saying shows is that one of the goals of knowledge within Islam is to liberate you from these shackles and one of those specific shackles being mentioned in this saying that enslaves them is ignorance. Ignorance is the means that Shaytan uses over and over again in order to keep the people away from Allah and from becoming truly free. For example, Arabs in the past would follow social pressures and trends based on utter ignorance, and this allowed them to make abhorrent decisions, like burying their daughters alive, drink until drunk, having more than 5 male partners at the same time, etc…

Nowadays you find the same trend with Muslims, who become absorbed by the very cultural norms that in turn eat away at their actual morality. So you find brothers and sisters following these patterns, the brother becoming some kind of “gee”, womanizer, developing habits like clubbing or some more specific to cultural roots, like shisha, etc… because they think that in order to be happy and fit in, they must follow the trend, sometimes unaware of the fact that the trend leads to self-destruction and further negative societal impacts. In turn, people slowly assimilate their free will and freedom and become slaves to societal patterns and material garbage (excuse me for being blunt), which in the long run, never satisfies them because those patterns don’t fulfill the core of a human, the purpose for their creation. Islam came first and foremost to put an end to these shackles, re-instigating certain morals that were forgotten, freeing people from following trends that even they were not aware were consuming them daily, and leading to the death of their freedom.

Similarly you have our sisters who become fashion obsessed, claiming that the Hijab is an impossibility in their society, claiming that in order to get married she must and needs to stay away from it for success, and in turn she becomes a slave to societal norms as well. While if she understood the symbolism of what is the real Hijab, maybe she would understand how it liberates her rather than how it imprisons her. This is why knowledge is so important, because it is at the root of everything and a necessity for one to be truly free and cured from cultural poisons which infest people’s minds from a young age. Ignorance is the biggest obstacle to one’s potential and freedom, and the knowledge needed to put an end to this shackle cannot be found in math books, and business readings, but will only be found in the manuals designed for the human being, the Book of Allah and the sayings of the Prophet (PBUH).

Sometimes this ignorance is praised and glorified. Miss Americas who are put on a pedestal and shown as “the woman to be” will be the same women who can’t even situate Canada on a map, let alone survive without her mirror for an hour. Yet people actively participate and encourage this nonsense day after as it is “a part of culture”, and slowly consumes our hours of once blessed time. Is it not disgusting how contemporary TV and music constantly tell the tales of successful idiots who try to find happiness by being a slave to societal pleasures (gossip girls, American idol, sex in the city, [every love song out there], etc…)? How unfortunate is it then that people decide to give up their intelligence by become religious followers of these same things. Now when you put it that way everyone starts to hate on modern TV and hip-hop, but just a quick reality check is needed to see where you truly stand in this fray (look at your iPods and laptops, and judge yourself alone before judging others).

Which leads me to the next point; is ignorance really bliss? With the emphasis put on this fake beauty, an opposite trend has become more popular within our societies, compared to the trends of the past. Today, the less you know the better it is for you, the more dumb and uneducated when it comes to morals and religion, the better you become, the more you avoid your problems and needs while concentrating on fueling and satisfying your desires, the happier you will be. In the past, seeking knowledge of Islam was so important, but nowadays it’s treated as unimportant and sometimes even backwards. See Allah, the most High, has praised knowledge, saying that He increases the status of those who seek it and have it, (mujadillah, verse 10) “Allah SWT raises the status of those who have belief amongst you and those who have knowledge.” How is it then, that we do not value that which Allah has valued so greatly in the book that is supposed to govern our lives. This is an example of how ignorance easily leads one to forsake that which is good for him, and forget his Creator, and the guide to living a successful life. What’s beautiful about this verse is that it applies to both this world and the next, because in this world they will be looked up to by other knowledge seekers, and in the hereafter they will be admitted into Paradise so they will also be raised there as well.

Another forgotten beauty of knowledge is that it was the main reason why Adam (PBUH) was superior compared to the angels, because Allah ‘azzawajal taught Adam the names of everything and in turn gave him a noble status because of this knowledge. Is it not horrifying then that we have taken the main superiority that we have over the other creations of Allah and turned it into rubbish, as we dug that single defining attribute under the dust of ignorance? Is it not insulting then to ourselves, that we prevent ourselves to learn about Allah for so called nobility and status, when Allah had already given it to us, but instead we used that intellect, this beautiful diamond and traded it in for a mere jar of pebbles?

Even in surah ‘al-imran, Allah swt says “Allah has testified that there is no Deity except Him, and the angels as well, and the ‘ulul ‘ilm also testify”, so Allah is testifying for those who seek knowledge and attain it, saying that indeed they have truly believed in His oneness,once again raising the status of those who seek knowledge. Even the Prophet (PBUH), he praised the ones who had knowledge saying that, “If Allah wants to do good to a person, he makes him very knowledgeable in the Deen.”,  some other authentic narrations even state that this is the case when Allah loves the person.

Two questions should now inevitably be focused on. The first is do you want to be loved by Allah? The second is, do you want to know if Allah loves you? If you want to be loved by Allah the formula is very clear, push yourself to learn more about Him. When you truly love someone you want to learn everything about them, their favorite colors, food, flowers, etc… So is it not only reasonable that one of the biggest ways to measure whether you truly love Allah is how much of Him you know? If you feel that you don’t know much about Him, and that you have been using your time as follows, 90% for worldly knowledge, and 10% for Allah, then there needs to be some type of adjustment made. If every day you use the majority of your day checking up on your knowledge of how much money is left in the bank, when your next exam is, etc… and the minority if not a single second is spent on reflecting on what you uttered during your prayer, about thanking Him for the thousands upon thousands if not more of bounties that He bestows upon you every one of your living days. Another sign of loving someone is that you always seek and yearn for their love as well. You never seek to disappoint them and you always want to be around them, and keep them happy by doing things they love. So ask yourself, when was the last time you perfected something Allah loved, like the prayers you rush everyday, like the Qur’an you ignore and shelf everyday, etc? If you want to be loved by Him, how often to do you spend your time, learning about what it takes to please Him, and worship Him properly, but instead find yourself perfecting the worship of self? Tough questions that leave one with a bad taste in their mouth, but a needed one for self development and improvement.

Secondly, does Allah love you? See just as you show your love by learning about a person, when it comes to Allah, a sign of His love is how often He allows you to learn about Him. So it’s reciprocal, the best way to get each other to love each other and prove it to be but cheap words is to learn, increase your knowledge. I’m not saying it’s a definite answer but it’s definitely somewhat of a measure. Ask yourself how much do you know about this deen (religion)? When was the last time you attended a halaqa (circle of knowledge)? How much do you understand of your prayer? These are all indications of your love for Him and His love for you.

Other cliche, but always important questions are the following: How much Qur’an have you memorized over how much of the lyrics of songs you’ve memorized? How much time to do you spend contemplating on the knowledge of Islam over the hours you spend watching TV listening to that which does not truly benefit you.

See in the past, being someone who was knowledgeable had great virtue but nowadays it’s treated as something negative. So many times you will hear or parents putting their children in preschool and in afterschool tutoring sessions, but they will never send their children to study the book of Allah, to learn the basics of Islam, the meaning of their prayers, etc…How many times we hear people studying to become doctors and professionals in the fields related to dunya but very little people are even enthused with the idea of becoming a sheikh, in fact it’s looked down upon because of a lack of income, etc… Now if you could do both it would be the best, but nonetheless, the point to stress is that the concept of knowledge has disappeared, where now we praise those who are the most ignorant of people. We praise the singers and the actors for their movies, the doctors and the engineers, but when we see a learned man in religion, a scholar of Islam, we curse him and we make fun of him, we don’t like to even get near them, etc…

This is something that needs to change in this community or we will forever be slaves to this dunya, and the message of Islam, of the Prophet Saw, his mission, and the message of Allah SWT, will have been all done in vain. We will all remain as slaves and none of us will ever truly be liberated. Remember the Prophet said, “For him who embarks on the path of seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the way to paradise.” (Related by Muslim)

Now as Muslims we always claim to want paradise, but the reality is talk is cheap. If you want paradise and you want it in an easy way, then the best thing you can do is gain knowledge, embark on a journey of knowledge. How many times we hear of a TV show or a sports event or a party and we all jump the opportunity to attend that, but when it comes to the halaqat and even the jumaa prayers, we are reluctant to attend them and we are very pleased with missing them. How many times we have an opportunity to listen to a speech on Youtube where it’s available in 100 languages but there is that one other video or song that you prefer listening to. The question arises, do you truly want jannah, and the honest answer is no. Because when you truly want something you work for it, you don’t wait for it to come. So start attending these weekly halaqats, wherever you can inshallah, start filtering out the useless knowledge, of this actor or actress did this, oh on twitter I’m following this guy, I know what he’s doing on Facebook, I’m watching this guy’s movie, etc… and start focusing on that which concerns you. However it is important to stress that knowledge and action go hand in hand. You can’t have proper action without knowledge, and the true knowledgeable person is not he who knows but he who acts on that which he knows.

Alright now that the rambling is over, grab a paper and out of those items posted right under, you need to choose three and put it upon yourself to act upon it, every week up until it becomes a habit, and you are always performing these three actions. After that’s done (a month from now or more) come back and choose another two insha’ Allah.

1) Read a page of Qur’an everyday (make this right before you sleep, it should take you ten minutes and if it has been a while, then read from the pages you have already memorized and slowly work your way to that which you don’t know)

If you do this you will be one of the proud people who always go to sleep with a Qur’an next to their beds, sadly very few people fall into this category nowadays.

2) Learn the meaning of a Surah every two weeks and implement it within your prayers, ponder on the meanings and elongate your concentration. (Ask someone who has a decent understanding of the Arabic said in the verses who can go through it word by word, analyze the roots of the word, etc…, or read the translation of the Qur’an and follow with what you recite)

3) Learn the duaa “Allahuma Zidnee ‘ilman” = “Oh Allah increase me in knowledge” and make the duaa after every isha prayer, and slowly work your way to every prayer during the day.

4) Learn the duaa “Allahuma wa anfa’ na bi ma ‘alamtana” = “Oh Allah allow us to benefit from this knowledge”

5) Learn the duaa “Allahuma a ‘oudhu bika min ilmin la yanfa'” = “Oh Allah I seek refuge from knowledge that does not benefit”

6) Attend a weekly circle of knowledge (you know you can sacrifice up to an hour of your 168 hours weekly to learn and remember Allah, make this a regular habit and one that you learn how to never miss on.)

7) Every time you learn something new, try to implement it and teach it to someone (the prophet SAW said that he who teaches someone good then his reward is better than the whole world and everything in it).

Post Your Tips Below, and Comment!

Why Change? Part 2

The dynamics of change are plenty, and in reality one will never be fully able to wrap his head around every single factor that can be involved in making or breaking a habit. Many of us want to change, and some of us on the other hand will do anything not to change. Sometimes we know exactly what to change, some of us on the other hand don’t know what to change at all. However, in order to understand the concept of change at a basic level, one must be familiar with the concept of cognitive dissonance.

Now picture for example, a man named James. James values the concept of honesty, and is known to never tell lies. He honors the truth and dislikes liars in general. One day a woman who looks much younger than him asks him for his age, to which he thinks if he’s to tell her his real age then maybe the truth would repel her. As his hormones kick in, he slips and makes up an age much younger. Now at first he might feel good because of the immediate reward, a conversation with this young woman. However because he values truth to his core, when he goes home James now feels remorse for lying and contradicted his values for material reasons. Now this example highlights the concept of cognitive dissonance quite clearly. The concept explains that whenever a human being’s values and actions contradict or are not consistent with each other, they will undoubtedly feel a sense of anxiety and remorse which is proportional to how important and rooted this value is in his core.

As humans we need to be consistent, it’s no wonder then that at a seemingly small contradictory action with regards to our beliefs, we feel unease. What’s important to highlight is that it works in two different basic dynamics, when ones belief suddenly changes and starts to become inconsistent with a way a person has been acting for a long time, or the other way around which is when one’s actions suddenly change and starts to contradict a belief embedded within someone’s mind for a consistent amount of time.

Now when you want to analyze it using a more relevant example and the Islamic context it works just as well. For example, you have a sister or brother who both know that being in a relationship with the opposite gender in a non “halal” context, yet they continue with their love story anyways. As this goes on at the beginning the pleasures of instant gratification fulfills both parties but as the days go by and they are alone, a source of stress is born, one caused by the fact that their actions and beliefs and contradicting once again. In order for the mind and body to be at balance, one needs to build a new value/action consistent pattern to fight off the inconsistencies. However some people resort to different temporary means to put a pause to the struggle (since it never really ends), which is when one starts to rationalize, blame, deny, ignore or run away from why they do what they do or why they believe what they believe, until an inevitable end occurs, one that may be the start of a really dangerous habit. The end can be summarized by two different outcomes, the first is that the one struggling with anxiety eventually decides to change his actions to match his belief, or changes his values in order to match the action.

In the example mentioned previously, if the guy/girl decides to change his action, and break up with their partner, or decide to channel this love in a halal means by getting married, then they will be at ease, as the consistency is being fulfilled anew. This decision requires one’s self esteem or sense of accountability to be quite high, since it is in the end a very courageous and brave decision to make, since one is sacrificing the immediate pleasures for an intangible reward. If one decides to change his or her belief to conform to his or her actions (which is unfortunately the case seeing that most people prefer the easy way out …. ie. “dating is not haram”, “we are only friends”, “we’re planning on getting married”, etc…), one would expect that the source of anxiety would extinguish because the mind and body is at a new balance. However, that is not the case.

This is where Islamic principles come to play in this psychological concept. The principles rely on two verses, surah ra’d (chapter 13) verse 28 and surah taha (chapter 20) verse 124. In the first Allah, the most High, is stating that “verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest,” and the second “whoever turns away from My remembrance, indeed he will have a depressed life.” This is where the concept of the natural inclination to Allah kicks in (our Fitrah). In basic psychology you would expect that the person is happy with his decision however through these verses we see differently. What this means is that even when this guy or girl makes the decision to rationalize, they will never actually be happy in their thoughts, because it is by a divine promise by Allah, that it will never be the case. The idea is that when one goes against the Fitrah where most good values are already deep rooted (since the beginning of our creation and we took an oath to worship Allah alone before we were put on Earth) they will never be satisfied. Some values are there to be there until death, no matter how hard you try to bury them, and that it is just a matter of whether one dies still trying to bury these natural values, or whether one decides to bring them back to life.

Therefore the only actual decision they can make in order to achieve the balance and finally extinguish this anxiety for good is by making the right decision, and the reality is that decisions require one to be self responsible, socially accountable, and other factors which will be discussed in a future article. Once these decisions are made, and are perpetually done, (standard psychologists estimate about three weeks minimally of continuity within this state of mind and action), they eventually become habits, dangerous ones, that ultimately lead to depression. Yet what are the reasons why people don’t change and decide to keep living in this anxious state once these habits are formed. These are what we call shackles to change, or obstacles to change. Now that we have understood the concept of cognitive dissonance, we can move on to our next chapter of discussion, in the next article about change, which will deal with the obstacles to change, and certain tips on how to deal with them.

True Love?

When a person falls in love with something or someone, the reoccurring theme in one’s thoughts when he is absent minded becomes that object of love. For example, you take a class, one in which you benefit from and enjoy yourself in, and as your mind wanders about for a brief amount of time, you start to think about this person or object. It might be a positive thought like how one just wishes they were there too, to enjoy this moment together, or a negative thought where one starts to fuel his or her anger towards that person for not being there. Either ways, the subject preoccupies your mind and these thoughts start to consume your feelings, leaving you in a state of unease.

Love can sometimes be a tool that can be used to ground yourself, to find your source of guidance, but only when it is well rooted with the primary love and one that at the base is the only healthy kind, the love of the One who has created you. Whenever it is not rooted in that manner, it becomes a poison, one that constantly consumes you and hurts you, or in other examples like a drug, one towards which you start developing a level of dependence to, as it hurts you and carves whatever is good within you away over time. This kind is the first type. Sometimes this is caused because you love for the wrong reasons or lust for each other as you fail to recognize how you can benefit yourself spiritually through this relationship, and in turn materialize this concept of love. In other cases, one loves for the right reasons, but the intentions change throughout the relationship and then a struggle occurs where one finds it practically impossible to let go. The second type is one which is based upon a spiritual path and is maintained upon this path until as modern churches or movies have put it, “death do us part”. Because of this continual reminder of the purpose of love that is serving an eternal type of purpose, it constantly grows as it is maintained, and is in reality the only type of healthy love that one should pursue.

When analyzing the first love, one can see the reason behind it’s inevitable failure. Firstly, the love is based on material benefits. For example he or she looks good, has money, is charming, has a sense of humor, or more extreme examples, like has a nice car, house, etc… What one fails to recognize is that every material’s value fluctuates and may decrease over time, without exception. So one’s good looks after 20 years or so, becomes one’s bad looks, one’s money may become depleted, one’s personality changes a bit which may make a person less humorous, etc… The reason why we fall for this type of trap is because of the fact that we have been trained from a very young age to feel instantly gratified. With the press of a button, your food is cooked, your clothes are washed, your clothes are dried, or your homework is done (yeah you wish!). Due to this type of psychological training of the mind, one starts to search only for that which will satisfy him or her in the present, or in the immediate future and so their focus becomes biased and blurred, and in turn start omitting any factor that didn’t necessarily gratify someone immediately but would have fulfilled them in their future and would have provided a longer and more satisfying effect. Another reason for this is the happily ever after we are taught from the typical Disney movies we watch as kids. In those movies, it tells the perfect story of love of two people and when they finally end up together the movie ends, and one is never exposed to their lives after. If there was a part two one would probably witness how later the relationship ended because that love was based on utter lust. The only happily ever after that exists is one that is not a part of this world, and because people never learn this, as soon as they’re happily ever after takes a single bump down the road, the person panics and is unable to deal with the situation, activating one’s fight or flight mechanism (and flight is most likely what everybody looks for). Human beings need to start waking up and realizing that they are seeking for perfection in imperfection, and that will never lead to a perfect life. The illusion has been fed to us in such a strong matter that only the wise in the end are able to break free from this cursed thinking. Remember that the perfect marriage is not one where a husband and wife live perfectly together, but one in which the husband or wife cannot live perfectly without their spouse.  Similarly through one’s exposure to chick flicks and other perfect stories of love, completely fictitious and impossible one starts to develop this “standardization”, and these stories become the norms for them. Their expectations become impossible to satisfy and in turn this leads to a repeated dissatisfaction of one’s experience with relationships. In turn people constantly compare their average lives to one’s highlight reel and because they fail to recognize that it is always easy to focus on the best moments and to lose at the comparison of best vs. worst, it also feeds in more to this depression and dissatisfaction. Research has shown that these are the top reasons for the high divorce rates that currently exist.

This concludes the section for the first type of love, in the next article, we shall expand on the notions of the second type of love, how to nurture it, and keep it strong.

Why Change?

As human beings we feel the need to be loved. When we are unloved we lose confidence and in turn we become mere shells with a void needing to be filled. Which is why we constantly seek to fulfill this void by making ourselves feel important, by seeking some kind of attention, whether it is through people or our Creator. There comes a time however, when we lack so much of that attention or sense of belonging and affection, that we resort to any means to achieve this feeling. This is because none of us can live knowing or acknowledging our sense of unimportance, it would rupture our hearts, our sense of existence. Some become absorbed in this vicious cycle of attention seeking and in turn neglect the various limits that were set for our sanity and happiness. We abuse these limits in our manner of speech (through excessive joking, lying, insulting), or by our actions (resorting to unlawful acts of any sort). As a consequence we aren’t satisfied by this attention, and we become even more empty, as anxiety and unhappiness starts to settle in our hearts.

The moment you leave the boundaries our Creator has set for us in order for us to function properly, one will undoubtedly feel a sense of conflict, like if something is being forced. This feeling is but the lack of blessing in that attention you get since the ends were justified by means that were not within the boundaries you were created to abide by. It’s like a man who needs to cross a narrow plank and decides to walk it with his hands rather than his feet. He forces himself to do so when anyone in their right mind would just walk using their feet, the natural way (means) of reaching the end. What pushed him to walk it with his hands though? Most likely, he found it appealing and might have felt that it was unique and that he would get to his destination better (curiosity, attention). Others might say that he truly believed that the hands were better (lack of guidance, lack of knowledge). What’s very scary is that one can get accustomed to some degree with his means to get to that end. So this man eventually develops the habit of using hands all the time, when eventually it becomes the standard for him. Sometimes one can know it’s not the right way to reach an end, but due to the need for attention, he becomes desensitized to the idea that what he might be doing is counter-productive. This exaggerated example truly illustrates these points clearly, but also points to how uneasy it would be to detect the inconsistencies of something like excessive joking (one can easily tell himself that walking with his hands is not the best way, but excessive joking is something that is hard to detect all alone as something that is abnormal).

To summarize thus far, when you use improper means to fill that void, you feel a sense of conflict. The reason you resort to those means are caused by our desires (where curiosity and attention fall in perfectly) and or ignorance (a lack of outer guidance or knowledge). Furthermore the reason why people then consistently follow this pattern is due to standardization, when eventually it becomes a habit, a norm. Another phenomena is desensitization, which is when someone assimilates his values into his actions to make them consistent with one another, over a period of time in which the person consistently gives in. These are the basic elements that fall into the dynamics of cognitive dissonance that one must fully comprehend before dwelling on the topic of change. In the upcoming weeks, we will expand on the topic of cognitive dissonance to understand why we do what we do, some shackles to change, and the biggest cure to any behavior needing change (going back to the source). This will conclude the first part, please leave me your feedback and comments!